Cheney Accidentally Shoots Friend in Face

on Feb 12 in News by Administrator

Vice President Dick Cheney shot his friend, Harry Whittington in the face, neck and chest today, while trying to hit a flock of quail.

The Vice President was hunting on a friend’s ranch in South Texas when the incident occurred. It is unclear what Mr. Whittington, 78, thought they were doing when he was hit.

“It was more like a spray, even a light peppering similar to what you’d get at a restaurant maybe, where you ordered steak au poivre, and the chef forgot to spice it before cooking, and your server isn’t really paying attention. I would even be comfortable calling this a mild buckshot dusting, not entirely dissimilar to what other experienced hunters have often reported getting,” said Mary Matalin, a spokesperson for the Vice President.

This isn’t the first controversial hunt for the Veep, who once shot 70 farm-raised pheasants in a single session at a private club in Pennsylvania.

Senator Barbara Boxer (D. California), who recently opposed Samuel Alito’s nomination to the Supreme Court said, It’s unfortunate Justice Scalia and the Vice President haven’t spent more time hunting.

Returning Sunday night by helicopter from his ranch, President Bush quipped, “Why do you think I stick to clearing brush and riding my bike. You gotta understand. A lot of guys my age never got any military training, so we don’t really know how to handle a weapon.”

Whittington, who is in stable condition in Corpus Christi Memorial Hospital, had this to say: “I probably shouldn’t have mentioned that Plame woman.